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It’s About Time

May 18, 2010

Our culture has taught us that getting married and having a family shouldn’t change who we are. Spouses and kids are accessories that we add to our lives. We carry on with our careers and our interests, squeezing in “quality” time in the midst of our own busyness.

Young couples struggle with the balance of working on their careers and making time for each other. Older couples struggle with the time commitment that comes with kids and advanced careers. It’s not surprising, then, that many empty-nesters wake up one day and realize they have nothing to talk about and no life to share.

Marriage was made for couples to live in relationship with one another. That means lives that are intertwined, not running on parallel tracks, never intersecting.

However, making time for one another means sacrifice. Sacrifice is easy when you’re in the early stages of your relationship because you’re infatuated with the man/woman with whom you’re falling in love. You want to be with him/her night and day. As time goes on and we become more familiar with one another, the sacrifices become more difficult to make.

None of us ever stops growing or changing. If you don’t make the sacrifices to spend time with one another, then one day you’ll start saying things like, “he/she is just not the same man/woman I married. He/she has just changed so much.”

Challenge: Don’t ever stop getting to know your spouse. You may think you know exactly how he/she thinks, but let your spouse surprise you. Strike up conversation about issues in the news or ask your spouse a thought-provoking question. Play “would you rather” or some other conversation starting game. Take time to listen to your husband/wife to stay connected to the person that he/she is and is becoming.

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